ADULTERY AS A GROUND FOR DIVORCE

Matthew 19:9, “I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Dear people of God, today’s Gospel message and lead Bible text has been used as a ground and justification by many Christians to divorce their wives for reasons of adultery.

It is even sad to see many Pastors quote this verse of the Bible to support the error that many Christians practise today.

The question is, if our Lord Jesus Christ gave one reason for supporting divorce, how come He also said whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery?

How come God says He hates divorce and He calls it a wicked thing a man does to the wife of his youth? – Malachi 2:13-16. Could God have been contradicting Himself when He hates divorce and also give a ground for divorce?

We can understand the context of our Lord Jesus’ comments when we carefully examine the Jewish wedding culture in the time of our Lord Jesus Christ as a human on earth.

There was usually a first part or betrothal and then a second part or formal home-taking. During the betrothal, the families of the bride and groom or their assigned representatives came together usually after the bride’s consent (if of age) to enter into the marriage contract.

When the agreement had been entered into, it was definite and binding upon both groom and bride, who were considered as man and wife in all legal and religious aspects, except that of actual cohabitation.

In strict accordance with this sense the rabbinical law declares that the betrothal is equivalent to an actual marriage and only to be dissolved by a formal divorce.

After the betrothal a period of twelve months was allowed to pass before the marriage was completed by the formal home-taking ("nissu'in," "liḳḳuḥin"). In case the bride was a widow or the groom a widower, this interval was reduced to thirty days.

If you now re-examine the Words of our Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 19:9 in the light of what is stated above, it would be easy to understand that Jesus was speaking of unfaithfulness of the “wife” during the betrothal period as the ONLY condition for divorce; and this is because the marriage was not yet consummated.

We see a typical example of this in the Holy Bible where Joseph, the earthly foster-father of our Lord Jesus Christ wanting to quietly send Mary his betrothed wife away when he found her pregnant with child believing she had been unfaithful.

Joseph had to rescind his decision and take Mary as his spouse when an angel of God appeared to him in a dream to explain that the child in Mary’s womb was our Lord Jesus Christ conceived by the Holy Spirit of God and the Promised Messiah of the Universe – Matthew 1:18-25.

Consequently, once the formal home-taking was completed and the marriage was consummated, there were no further grounds for divorce even if the wife was unfaithful.

This is exactly what our Lord Jesus Christ meant in His statement in Matthew 19:9.

In fact, God approved death by stoning for any man who violated a betrothed woman (not his own) and depending on the circumstances, the betrothed woman was also to be put to death – Deuteronomy 22:23-27.

God also commanded that a man who sleeps with an unbetrothed virgin would pay a monetary penalty to her parents for violating her, then take her for his wife and was never to divorce her all his days - Deuteronomy 22:28-29.

When the Jews came in contact with the Western world (the Romans) after the dispersal in 70AD, this practise of betrothal for a waiting period and formal home-taking was viewed as inconvenient and so it became customary to do the betrothal and formal home-taking same day.

This new practice is what we see in today’s world where a woman goes home with her spouse after the betrothal or engagement.

Take note however, that unlike the nonsense and evil we see in today’s world, a man who sleeps with his engaged woman even before a formal marriage in church is already married to her and cannot separate from her even if she is unfaithful.

Furthermore, once you are married in church, you cannot separate from your spouse for whatever reason, even for adultery.

This is why our Lord Jesus Christ in His revelation to the Sierra-Leonean lady Linda Kumba Rika (nee Ngaujah) made it clear that no divorcee will see His face. What this means is that all divorcees will NEVER enter heaven when they die or when Jesus Christ comes to take His Church in Rapture.

Dear friend, please do not let anyone whether friend, family member, pastor or bishop or of whatever ranking mislead you into committing divorce.

Some may argue at this point that what if the man becomes violent? I will respond by saying that for the sake of your life and safety, you may stay separate from a violent spouse (male or female) but you cannot re-marry another person as long as the violent spouse is alive.

What you can do in the period of your separation is to forgive the violent spouse from your heart so that God can forgive you as you pray for the violent spouse’s repentance and salvation – Matthew 6:14-15; 18:35).

I can assure you, dear friend that God who sees your heart praying with a genuine intention would respond and grant your heart’s desire, arrest your spouse and bring about the reconciliation to live in the fear and love of God and His commands.

Please do not say nobody told you as now you know that God does not allow divorce for whatever reason.

May the good Lord bless you as you heed His Word today, act on it and share with others in Jesus’ Most Precious Name, Amen.

Gabriel Ama.