WHY YOU MUST NOT TAKE MARITAL ISSUES TO THIRD PARTIES OF OPPOSITE GENDER FOR ADVICE

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1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (AMPC)

“Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands [who feels sure that he has a steadfast mind and is standing firm], take heed lest he fall [into sin].

13 For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. 

But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.”


Dear people of God, I once heard a TRUE story of a pastor’s wife who had a marital problem with her pastor husband. She then went to meet a male pastor of another Church to discuss her marital issues.

She kept going to meet this pastor and before long, they had grown fond of each other, temptation set it and both married to different partners started committing adultery with each other.

After a while, the lady fell ill and her health progressively deteriorated. Eventually, she reached the point of death when she now called members of her family to confess her sins.

She went ahead to tell them about the atrocious acts she was having with the male pastor.

As God would have it, immediately she confessed her sin, her illness disappeared completely.

Dear friend, what I have just narrated above is not a fairy tale but a TRUE story of what happened.

As you can imagine, she had to live with the shame and disgrace of what she had done.

There are great lessons to be learned from this incident as follows:

(1)  As A Christian, don’t ever for once believe the anointing on you is beyond your ability to be tempted and to fall into sin. God’s Word in today’s lead Scripture has clearly warned us to be careful because of temptation and falling into sin.

Always rely on God’s Word and the Holy Spirit to guide you in every decision and activity for they would never fail you.

(2)  If you have a marital issue, it is strongly advised that you don’t take it to a person of opposite gender to discuss even if the person is a pastor because as a human being, such person has passions like everyone else. If the person has been a secret admirer of yours, the tendency is for the person to support you in the matter even if you are wrong.

Once that happens, the tendency is for you to start comparing the counsellor with your spouse, become hooked and accept whatever advice given, whether wrong or right.

(3)  As a pastor where you MUST counsel a person of opposite gender, do it in a public place and if it must be private, ensure someone else of same gender as the person being counselled is with you.

(4)  Most importantly, take every marital issue of a serious nature to God for a solution. It is ONLY God that can give you an unbiased and righteous solution because God wants every home to be peaceful and joyful.

So the first thing you should do when you have a marital crisis is to take the matter to God for intervention.

(5)  No matter what your spouse has done, always remember the vow you took at the altar before God and humans to be faithful for better for worse. Even if your spouse is violent, the best you should do is to leave the home for your personal safety and table the matter before God and God would surely intervene to discipline your spouse to repent and amend his or her ways.

Do not allow satan to whisper ungodly advice into your ears because satan’s objective is to destroy your marriage, make you sin against God and end up in eternal damnation.

May the good Lord bless you as you heed His Word today, act on it and share with others in Jesus’ Most Righteous Name, Amen.

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