WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS; HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES
“Wives,
be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a
service] to the Lord.
23 For the husband is HEAD of the wife as Christ is the Head of the Church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.
24 As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in EVERYTHING to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her,
28 Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
29 For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the Church,”
Dear people of God, many marriages are in trouble today because of disobedience of the couple to this simple injunction from God to Christians.
The reason I was inspired to write this message is because of a pathetic statement I heard over the radio yesterday from a broadcaster who is an unmarried young lady but she was trying to justify her viewpoint that the man and woman are equal in marriage and that it was an African thing or culture where the menfolk lord it over their wives to the point of enslaving them according to her.
I listened in particular to a male caller who tried to address the issue from God’s standpoint in the Bible that the husband was the leader in the marriage but this broadcaster always found a way to bully the man into denying even the very truth he was trying to pass across.
During her conversation with the caller, this broadcaster admitted that her own mother was loyal to her father but never controlled the man.
One point I want to bring out here is that we should observe that the rate of divorce and marital separation has continued to increase over the years in different societies in outright disobedience to God’s command in Malachi 2:16 and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11.
Why is this so? It is because couples have failed to study and adhere to God’s commands in today’s lead Holy Bible text. They just do not have the fear of God even when they profess it.
The women are refusing to submit and insisting that the men should first love them while the men are refusing to love their wives until they submit.
There is no where the Bible tells us NOT to do our own part if the other party fails to do theirs.
I will start by first addressing the womenfolk.
Women usually say they want to be heard so the men should first listen whenever they have something to say.
The Bible says the husband, the man, is the HEAD of the wife, the woman. If you are a submissive wife as God has commanded you to be, why do you want to be the first to speak?
If you as the woman enter into your boss’ office in the workplace, do you tell your boss that you want to speak first or you wait until you are motioned to speak before you do?
If it is easy to submit to your boss, why then is it difficult to submit to your husband?
I must tell the womenfolk that just as God has allowed your boss to be your head in the office, God has also allowed your husband to be your head in marriage and since marriage is a lifetime event, there is nothing you can do or say to change what God has decreed.
To make you understand this point very clearly, let me remind the womenfolk of Moses the man of God for whose sake God punished Mariam his elder sister because of a careless statement she made by challenging Moses when Moses took an Ethiopian woman, a Cushite for a wife- Numbers 12.
Now, recall that both Aaron and Mariam were older than Moses in age (Mariam was the little Hebrew girl who watched over Moses as the water tight basket he was placed in floated along the Nile River) – Exodus 2:1-4.
See Numbers 33:39 and Deuteronomy 34:7 to see that Aaron died at 123 years of age before Moses who died at 120 years of age.
God chose Moses as the leader over Israel to lead them out of Egypt into the Promised land in Canaan and God was offended when Aaron and Miriam challenged Moses.
Drawing from this true story of God’s Divine Nature, it is dangerous for a married woman to challenge her husband’s authority whether in private or in public for the simple reason that God has made the husband the Head of the wife.
Whether as a woman you earn more financially or you are more educated or more intelligent than your husband is immaterial to God; once you have consented to and do marry the man, he automatically becomes your head and you MUST submit to him in EVERYTHING as God has commanded.
Just as your boss in the office has the final say in decision making and takes responsibility for it, so your husband as the Head at home has the final say in decision making and takes responsibility for it.
If you have a Christian husband who notices your refusal to submit and lets you have your way always for the sake of peace to reign in the home, just be sure that your behaviour is offensive to God because you are going against His command and that would certainly disqualify you from entering heaven or missing Rapture when Jesus Christ comes shortly to take His qualified children home.
Do not use your body as a negotiation tool to trap and blackmail your husband into doing your bidding because that makes you a prostitute and not a wife, for your body belongs to your husband and vice-versa for the menfolk – 1 Corinthians 7:4-5.
I know a number of womenfolk would boil and become offended at this message but my sister, it is for your own good that I have to tell you the Truth of God’s Word so that you do not miss eternity on the wrong and sinful counsel of your parents, siblings, relatives, friends and acquaintances against what God has decreed.
Now, to the menfolk.
The Lord Jesus Christ says you should love the woman, your wife, as He, Christ loves the Church and died for us at Calvary to reconcile us spiritually to God our Father and present us spotless before God as a Church.
Take note that the Bible does not say you should not love your wife where she fails to submit.
Regardless of her behaviour, you must love her as God has commanded.
You must counsel her when she goes wrong against God’s Word but that should not stop you from loving her.
As a husband, it is your duty as spiritual head to lead and direct morning and evening devotion and prayers for the family. It is your duty to lead by example in study, meditation and obedience to God’s Word and to teach your wife and children the same daily.
It is your duty to provide the basics of life for the family because the man who fails to provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever as God’s Word tells us in 1 Timothy 5:8.
If for some reason, your income source dries up by some misfortune and your wife is the one providing, you must not sit back and believe all is well because God has told you to provide for your family in 1 Timothy 5:8.
You must first pray to God to make this instruction in 1 Timothy 5:8 come to pass in your life and thank God thereafter. Then, go out and look for a means of livelihood because God would answer your sincere prayer for He will honour His Word in your life.
To the wife, I will again warn that where you are the one providing for your family when your husband has financial difficulties, continue to the submissive to your husband because God’s Word remains the same and never changes because of your own personal circumstances.
Even if you are married to a man who is just plain lazy and refusing to provide, you must still submit to him. Remember what God has said in 1 Timothy 5:8 and hand him over to God and watch how God would handle him to make him responsible.
Do not take matters into your own hands from evil counsel of others by engaging in quarrel and violence because God hates it and either you or your husband may lose your lives.
Husband and wife must be open to each other to tell how much each is earning. You must plan your finances together to accomplish more in life.
The idea that the man’s income is for the home but the woman’s income for her alone is not just foolish but sinful.
When you ask a typical man today why his wife is working, he will tell you it is because one income cannot run a home. If one income alone from the man cannot run a home, why then does the woman believe her income is for her alone and should not be a subject of scrutiny?
How can you claim to be a submissive wife but cannot submit your income from righteous labours to your husband for both of you to plan together with his own income?
How can a husband claim to love his wife but she does not know how much he earns?
Do you now see why your wife would keep demanding money from you? it is because she does not know how much you earn and so her demand remains unending.
As the head of the home, the man should never oppress his wife if he truly loves her as Christ has commanded.
If she cannot bear children for you, turn to God in prayer and do not listen to the ungodly counsel of family and friends to go and take a second wife.
That is adultery and you will pay dearly with an eternal damnation in HELL when you listen and act on such sinful counsel.
You can never divorce your wife no matter the circumstances. Even if she commits adultery, painful as it is, you MUST forgive her otherwise God would neither forgive nor answer your prayers.
The same applies to the woman.
If you have any quarrel, you must settle it same day so that you continue to pray together as a family. Don’t allow the devil to ruin your home for he hates marriage for the simple reason that it is ONLY in marriage that God permits intimacy between man and wife.
Do not pitch your children against each other because that is laying a bad example before them when God has told you to teach your children His Word in Deuteronomy 6:5-9.
Finally, God’s Word says you should pursue peace with all humans and holiness without which no human would ever see the Lord – Hebrews 12:14.
You cannot change God’s Word. You cannot go against His Word. You cannot give anyone a counsel that challenges God’s Word.
Such action is suicidal and you will pay dearly for it both here in this world and in the hereafter.
It is my sincere prayer that anyone who reads this message would heed the warning and advice in it.
I have taken time to quote God’s Word as I wrote so you would not dismiss it as my personal opinion. No, it is God’s Word and it is God’s personal opinion, which is why it is called Truth.
Remember that Jesus Christ is coming NOW to take ONLY those who are qualified according to His righteous standards in the Holy Bible.
Are you living a genuine life as His disciple? Are you ready for Him? Come to Jesus today for tomorrow may be too late for you.
May the good Lord bless you as you heed His Word today, act on it and share with others in Jesus’ Most Holy Name, Amen.
Gabriel Ama.