TOLERANCE IN MARRIAGE (3)
1 Peter 3:7 (AMPC)
“7 In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honouring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God's unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]”
Dear people of God, in the first part of the post on this topic, we looked at abusive marriages, what causes it and how to have a healthy Christian marriage.
In the second part of the message, we examined the issues of submission to husbands for the wives and loving the wives as Christ loved the Church for the husbands as prescribed in the infallible Word of God.
In today’s third part of the message, we will be examining how intolerance can affect a Christian marriage and the prayer life challenge it poses.
There are some men in marriage who view the woman as the weaker vessel (rightly so) and believe it is a reason to lord it over them. In the case where the man is well off financially, they are quick to remind the woman of how they brought her from a modest or even poor family background to polish her into the graceful lady she has become today.
Such men have forgotten that it is God Almighty and Father of my Saviour and Lord Jesus Christ Who gives the power to create wealth as stated in Deuteronomy 8:18.
They are therefore ascribing to themselves the glory that belongs to God for their wealth. This act of pride is offensive to God and would certainly hinder their prayers.
In some cases, where the wife believes her husband is not spending enough time at home with the family and complains to him, you hear the man retort angrily, “have I not been providing for you? why do you want me to sit at home and then do what?
However, this same man who does not have time for his wife and kids has more than enough time to spend with concubines and other women of easy virtue outside, in the course of running his business.
He forgets that God sees everything, and indeed, Heaven records every deed of man while alive here on earth.
See what the Lord says in Jeremiah 16:17, “For My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from My face, neither is their iniquity concealed from My eyes.”
Dear friend, a Christian husband should not take his wife and kids for granted, for it would hinder his prayers to God as today’s lead Holy Bible text clearly tells us.
Also, the woman should not suspect or accuse her husband of infidelity outside the home if she does not have any proof of it. That would also hinder her prayers because the suspicion or accusation emanates from a heart defiled from foul and ungodly thoughts.
The best you can do as a woman is take your case to God Almighty Who would surely intervene to resolve the matter.
Where you have proof of the man’s infidelity, call him to discuss the matter quietly and where he refuses to listen, you can report him to your local pastor who you are sure is qualified as a man of God to advise and act on such matters.
I say this because I do know there are some pastors out there who would prefer the complaining woman to be theirs and rather than solve the problem between her husband and her, such pastor would fuel the problem and eventually cause marital separation and then begin to commit adultery with the woman!!
For a man who has proof of his wife’s infidelity, sending her away or divorcing her is not the solution because God does not accept divorce for such. In an earlier message, I explained what the Lord Jesus was referring to as the only condition for divorce in Matthew 19:9
Let us look at that Scripture to be clear – “9 I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
You can see the last statement of the Lord in this Bible verse that whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery with her.
Now, you need to study the Jewish marriage tradition in the time of the Lord Jesus Christ to understand the condition the Lord Jesus was giving for divorce. Jesus was referring to the case of a woman who had broken her engagement by infidelity with another man BEFORE her marriage vows with her engaged spouse was completed and consummated.
In Jesus’ time as a human being here on earth, engagement or betrothal was considered as marriage because a contract was signed involving both families of the man and woman and it was the first part of the ceremony.
It was on the grounds of established infidelity on the woman’s part at this stage that was a condition to end the union or divorce because the union had not yet been completed (second and final stage) and consummated by the engaged man.
There is no other condition to be divorced and so the man who has consummated his marriage with his spouse cannot divorce her on account of her infidelity even if his relatives or a law court grants it.
Dear friend, I want to let you know that as far as marriage is concerned, it is not a man’s world where a man can do anything he likes and get away with it.
No way!
It is God’s world and to Him, God Almighty, would all humans give account whether male or female.
So there must be tolerance in marriage and forgiveness for wrongdoing because God has always forgiven us whenever we offend Him and run back to Him for forgiveness.
May the good Lord bless you as you heed His Word today, act on it and share with others in Jesus’ Most Holy Name, Amen.
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